You Again
by CeruleanPlatypi
Summary: So, was I the only one bothered when Artemis met his perfect match, and then she wasn't mentioned in the next two books? Well, it certainly bothered me, so I have made up a little story about Artemis and Minerva having a little reunion. Please review!
1. Coincidences

Artemis sat back in his chair, steepling his fingers in a trademark Artemis Fowl way. His pale blue/ hazel eyes were studying an email on his computer. It was a response to one of the articles he had written in a science magazine under a pen name, but he was wondering if this person might have seen through his pseudonym. And he had a hunch he knew who this person was.

The writing in the email showed an intellect almost matching his own, and this was saying a lot. Aside from himself, and maybe Foaly, he couldn't think of anyone who could have written this. Except….. "No." Artemis told himself. "It's been too long, it would be too much of a coincidence." And Artemis Fowl didn't believe in coincidences.

**I know this is really short, but bear with me. I'm still figuring out where to go with this, but I'll update again soon.**


	2. Girl Troubles

**Yes, this is short again, but I'm still kinda figuring it out. BTW, the doorbell rang just for you, Lyndsie98! Also, I'll try to update a little bit sooner if someone can find where I rhymed in this chapter. I'm very proud of myself for rhyming.**

Artemis walked into the sitting room and saw his father reading a book to Myles and Beckett. For a moment, he just stood there, savoring the moment. Then he cleared his throat. "Father, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Artemis Fowl Sr. looked up, studying his son. "Of course, Arty. Boys, you should go eat your lunch." Myles and Beckett scampered away, arguing about what to have for lunch. Artemis walked over to his father and sat down next to him. "So, son, what's the problem? Homework? Girl troubles?"

Although he had been kidding, one look at Artemis's face told him he was right. And not about the homework. Artemis nodded seriously. "Yes. Well, you see, I got an email from someone about one of my articles. And although it was sent anonymously, I think I know who sent it. Do you remember Minerva Paradizo?"

"Yes. The French girl?"

Artemis nodded a strange look in his eyes. "Yes. I haven't seen or spoken to her in years, but-"

He was cut off because just then, the doorbell rang. Artemis looked up, slightly guiltily. "Oh, that must be my delivery of….stuff. I'll be back."

With that, he hurried through the house toward the door. He took an askance glance through the peephole and was about to open the door when he did a double take. Wait… It couldn't be!


	3. Could It Be? hehe, no

Artemis took a deep breath, prepared himself, and then opened the door. There, standing on Fowl Manor's doorstep was a pizza delivery boy.

"Thank you very much." Artemis grabbed the pizza box, dropped some change into the boy's hand and, with a shifty glance around in case anyone was looking, he shut the door.

**Haha sorry, couldn't help myself. I certainly wouldn't want to be predictable, would I? I'll get on to the real story soon. By the way, the rhyme was askance glance, good job, pearlgirl97!**


	4. Irish Pizza Huts

**Sorry it took me so long to update, but I've been busy. And lazy. This one's a bit random, but I'm in a kind of random mood. Sooo... yeah. Here it is.**

Artemis tiptoed up the stairs with the pizza box, looking around guiltily. He took it to his room, and then rushed back down to tell his father that the equipment he had just received demanded his immediate attention and that he would finish his conversation later. When he hurried back out of the room, Artemis Fowl Sr. sighed. Kids these days, always rushing off to do important things.

Meanwhile, Artemis hurriedly munched his pizza. Ever since Butler and Juliet convinced him to go to Pizza Hut with them, he couldn't stop eating it! Also, it helped him think. Should he contact Minerva, or should he wait until she contacted him again? Assuming it was Minerva who sent the email and not some science- savvy hobo who got his hands on a thesaurus. Or a platypus that was on vacation in Russia and got radiation sickness that extensively enlarged his brain capacity. Or maybe…

Artemis shook himself mentally and looked strangely at his pizza. What was in this? But before he could investigate further, the doorbell rang again and Artemis jumped. What if it was the pizza boy back for a larger tip?

Artemis jumped up and ran down the stairs and skidded on the floor, almost running into the door. Without glancing through the peephole, he pulled the door open. He opened his mouth to say hello, but no noise came out. It was Minerva!

Minerva smiled awkwardly. "Um, hello, Artemis. How nice to see- Is that pizza sauce on your face?"

**(FYI: There actually are Pizza Huts in Ireland! I looked it up.)**


	5. A Mystery of Life

Artemis hurriedly wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"Of course not." He said nonchalantly. "Just an experiment that went awry, made a bit of a mess…. Anyway, come in! What brings you to Ireland?"

Minerva walked confidently into Fowl Manor. "Just dropping by. My father is at a conference in Dublin, and I figured we should catch up a bit, because we haven't seen each other in… well, technically almost five years. Also, Butler said if we didn't start working with each other, eventually we would be working against each other, so we really must start corresponding. He really is quite wise, for a bodyguard."

Artemis stared at her. "You've been talking to Butler?"

She nodded. "Of course! We text frequently."

"Butler can text? How does he do that if his fingers are twice as big as three different keys put together?"

Minerva rolled her eyes. Artemis thought this made her even more pretty. "A mystery of life. Anyway, how are you? And your family?"

Artemis opened his mouth to reply, but just then Myles and Beckett ran up. They looked at Minerva curiously, then at Artemis. "Artemis, is this your girlfriend?" Myles asked.

Artemis blushed and poked him discreetly. "No, of course not. Boys, this is Minerva Paradizo, my… colleague. Minerva, these are my brothers, Myles and Beckett."

Minerva smiled at them. "Hello there! You boys look just like your brother. Quite handsome, indeed."

Artemis grinned. She thought he was handsome.

**Sorry if this one was kind of slow. I'm not really sure what to do next. Any ideas?**


	6. An Idea

**Thanks for the reviews everybody! I totally spaced on the Myles and Beckett thing, sorry! I'll fix that. As for writing longer chapters, I tried to make this one a bit longer. Enjoy!**

Artemis brought Minerva into the living room, where his father was still sitting, reading a book. He cleared his throat. "Er, father… this is Minerva. You remember her, right?"

Artemis's father looked up; his eyebrows raised and mouth twitching. He was obviously trying very hard not to laugh. "Ah, yes. Minerva... Paradizo, is it?"

Minerva nodded. "Yes, sir. I was in the area and I thought I'd drop by. I have some ideas that I thought I'd run by Artemis."

Just then, Butler walked into the room. When he saw Minerva, he stopped in his tracks and grinned broadly. "Hello, Minerva! How very nice to see you. I was just about to see if Artemis wanted to go out to lunch with Juliet and I. Maybe you could come with us?"

Minerva nodded, beaming. "Of course, I'd love to join you!"

This is how Artemis found himself in Butler's car, sitting next to Minerva. Right next to Minerva. It was very awkward.

"So, Artemis, where do think we should go to lunch? Pizza Hut probably isn't too busy right now." Butler winked at him.

Artemis glared at him. "I'm sure Minerva would want to go to somewhere more-"

Minerva interrupted him. "Of course not! I love Pizza Hut!"

Artemis sighed. "Alright." He was feeling decidedly gloomy, remembering the box of pizza on his bed. His mother was sure to find it, and his secret would be out anyway.

Once they got to the nearest Pizza Hut, Artemis held the door open for Minerva, saying, "So did you say that you had some ideas to run by me?"

She nodded. "I had this wonderful idea about the ice caps."

Artemis stared at her. "Oh really?"

"Oh yes. It involves disguising nano-wafers as snow, maybe-"

Artemis turned pale. "Oh. How interesting. We'll have to discuss this more over lunch."

After they had ordered, Artemis noticed Minerva and Butler exchanging amused looks. Then he understood. "Oh, very funny, you two. I'm sure your idea is very original, Minerva."

He was going to say more, but just then he thought he saw something shimmering in the corner. It was gone after a few seconds, but he was sure he had seen something. He quickly averted his eyes from the spot. "I'm sure our fairy friends would love to hear all about it. I'm sure Foaly would be extremely amused to discover that we humans are smart enough to have such a wonderful idea. And Holly, I'm sure she's just dying to meet you again."

A voice came from just behind him. "I'm sure."


	7. Arty's Girlfriend's Brother

**I literally haven't updated in like a year, but I was bored and I realized I kind of left this story hanging, so... I updated! I hope you like it! And by the way, I totally forgot to do this earlier, but I do not own the Artemis Fowl series or any of the characters. They are all obviously too awesome for me to have made them up. So yeah.**

Holly sat down on the bench next to Artemis. He couldn't see anything but a faint haze, but he could hear her breathing. "I'd really love to catch up with your girlfriend, Artemis, but honestly I have no time for pleasantries. Actually, none of us do. Surprisingly enough, I didn't follow you here, I was following Minerva."

Minerva frowned. "Me? Why?"

Holly hesitated. She wasn't sure how to put this. "Minerva, have you seen your brother lately?"

"Beau? No, not since I left our manor in France. My parents left him there with a nanny." Minerva looked genuinely puzzled, but Holly was still suspicious.

"Really? Was there any reason he should be using your computer? For some reason, we have gotten multiple hits from your home network about fairy related business. Obviously, we thought it was you, until we investigated and found out that you were in Ireland. We did a thorough background check of all the staff still there, and none of them have any reason to know anything about the People. Beau, on the other hand, might be up to something." Holly watched Minerva closely for her reaction.

Minerva leaned back in her chair and gazed at the table in consternation. After a moment, she looked up. "You know, he has been acting a bit odd lately."

Holly arched an eyebrow. "Odd how?"

Minerva shrugged. "He's been ignoring me, but I've found him in my room a couple times. Also, he's been a bit moody. I just figured he was sulking because Mum and Dad wouldn't let him come on this trip."

Artemis interjected with a question. "How old is Beau now? The last time I saw him, he was 7 or 8."

"His birthday was last month. He's eleven now."

Artemis shrugged. "It makes sense he would want to stir up a bit of trouble. I remember when I was eleven, I was just itching to show off my criminal genius. Well, more than I already had."

Holly resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I'm sure you were. If that was the case with Beau, the LEP would have intervened by now. We do NOT want a repeat of Artemis Fowl. The thing is, Beau has never shown any evidence of an extremely high intelligence level, or criminal activity. Am I right, Minerva?"

Minerva nodded. "He's never been the brightest in the family. He's not stupid, of course, just average. I think he's always been a tad sensitive about that."

Holly felt a surge of sympathy for the boy. It must be hard to live with someone like Minerva Paradizo with anything below superior intelligence. "Do you have any idea how he could have found out about the People?"

Minerva's gaze flickered for a moment towards Artemis. "Well... he was mind wiped after the demon incident, but I might have written a few things in my diary."


	8. A Child's Mind

**So... again, it's been awhile since I updated, but this time I am determined to finish this story. Which could take awhile, judging by how short my chapters have been. :P I promise that I'll try to make them longer, this was just a teaser to get back into the story. I think I have a clearer idea of where I'm taking this now, so it should go faster. But I have a question for my wonderful readers. Should the bad guy be Opal, or is that villian just too overused? Tell me your opinion! I love reviews! :)**

Beau Paradizo was lying on Minerva's bed, staring at the ceiling. If his sister had been here, he would have been cautious about being in her room, but she was off visiting her boyfriend in Ireland. Beau snorted and thought, "Boyfriend my foot. I can't believe she actually fell for that idiot."

His thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of his cell phone. Beau sat up quickly and grabbed it, then pressed a button and said, "Have you got it?"

A sweet, motherly voice answered, "Yes, honey, it's right here. Your sister will be safe from that smug fool in no time."

Beau nodded gravely, his eyes uncommonly serious for a boy of his age. "It's about time. Artemis Fowl needs to pay."


	9. Poisonous Pizza?

**I know, I know. It's literally been like 6 months since I updated. I'm sorry, but I just started a goal to write everyday during the summer so hopefully I will be better. *crosses fingers* Anyway, I was reading reviews and I guess a lot of you think that my Artemis is OOC, which I think he was in the earlier chapters but I hope I'm getting better. So if you have any input on how to make him more in character, I'm totally open to constructive criticism. Enjoy, and make sure to review! :)**

A tall man in a black trench coat slipped into the kitchen of Pizza Hut. He strode confidently through the bustling activity, paying no attention to anyone else. Likewise, no one seemed to be able to see him, so he was able to go straight to a counter where the pizzas were sitting, about to be delivered to the tables.

He glanced briefly at the order slips above the counter, then reached into his coat and pulled out a small vial. He deftly shook a few drops out onto one of the pizzas, topped the vial, and then strode away.

The drops of mysterious liquid sizzled a bit as they hit the hot pizza, and then they quickly soaked into the cheese, leaving no trace.

A minute later, a waiter came by the counter and picked up the pizza. He then carefully walked out of the kitchen and made his way through the busy restaurant. When he reached his destination, a table where a very large man and two teens were sitting, he promptly set down the pizza.

"I will have the other two pizzas out in a moment." The teenage boy nodded at him, then looked hungrily at his pizza.

As the waiter walked away, Minerva smirked at Artemis. "You look famished. Go ahead, it won't kill you to eat first."

Artemis looked up from his pizza guiltily. "I couldn't. I can wait till your pizzas arrive."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Does it really matter? And aren't you going to check for poison, Artemis? It seems like you've grown a bit lax in the security department."

Butler snorted. "Considering that I'm his security department, I take offense. Just take a bite, Artemis. If you drop dead I'll make sure to check for poison next time. Honestly, Holly, I think you're getting a bit paranoid in your old age."

Artemis looked at the pizza again and shrugged. "Alright then." He lifted a piece and then took a large bite, savoring the cheesy taste. Everyone at the table stared at him a moment while he chewed, and he laughed after he swallowed. "I guess it's not poisoned, I feel fine."

Holly raised an eyebrow and teased, "Well, most poisons take a bit to affect you. We'll have to see. Anyway, we need to get back to the matter at hand."

**Yes, that was pretty short, but in my defense my sister is trying to get me off the computer. Sorry!**


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